Hey, hi reader, how are you?


I know your answer will be “fine”, “doing great”, “good”, or in the worst-case “doing terrible”. These are the common replies which we get when we ask someone how are you? 


It is not true that I only get such answers from others. Whenever someone asks this question to me I also end up giving the same answer. 


Why do we still use ''how are you doing?' in conversation?



This is also true that if i reply with two or three words, it doesn’t mean I am not interested in a conversation. Sounds confusing, right? I know this is because of the standard answer which we receive when we ask someone how they are doing?


Because of this well predefined answer, we sometimes find it difficult and don’t get the true message out of "how are you?” Question.


Why do we ask when we already know the reply?


We know what answer we are going to get when we ask other people about the things happening in their life using this question. But still, we ask the same question. Do you know why?


One reason I have noticed is. It helps in bridging the conversation gap between the two people. I mean, say if you are approaching a new person. And one of the biggest problems is how we can start the conversation. In this situation, how are you? Plays a major role. This question helps us in taking the initiative. 


In other words, we can say that - this question acts as a conversation starter.


Even when we meet our friends after a long time, the first question which we ask them is how are they doing? How are things going in their life? In this situation also - getting another reply other than what I mentioned above has very little chance. But we still go with that question.


Meeting that friend after a long time and asking him about his life is a sign of respect. But in most cases, it does not make sense. As we already know what answer is going to come. 


I would say nowadays how you are doing has got no meaning or sense. It is being asked just for namesakes as we know the reply well in advance. Asking how they are doing has just become a formality.


How are you? - open-ended or closed-ended questions?


For me, it falls under both open-ended questions and closed-ended questions. In most cases, it falls under a closed-ended question. 5-10 out of 100, you can expect a long answer. It totally depends on another person's reply or I can say the mood.


You can expect a long answer to this question if the other person is genuinely interested in you. In most cases, this happens if the other person is your close friend. But still, getting that long replay is very rare, i would say. 


Can awkward situations arise due to these questions?


Yes, asking this question often creates an awkward situation in most cases. Since it is a conversation starter. When one uses this question, while approaching a girl. She replies by "doing good." In rare cases. If she is interested in talking to you then she might ask you back the same question, how are you doing?


If the other lady is not interested in having a conversation when someone first approaches. She will probably reply with one or two words. And if you are a beginner who doesn't know “how to talk to a girl”. Then that situation is definitely going to take you to an awkward moment. 


Getting trapped in this kind of situation will make you feel uncomfortable. As a result, you will feel like giving up. If you still try to take the conversation further, you are going to create a mess unless you have the proper communication skills to take the conversation further.


Conclusion


If you are asking someone “how are you doing?" - then don’t expect an honest answer. You will get a well-defined standard answer. 


We used this question to either start the conversation with the unknown person as it is a good conversation starter. But in most cases, we just ask for a namesake. 


Finally, if you're asking someone, how are you? Then, don't expect a long answer.

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